第27章讲述了当您与某人有问题时应如何去解决它,而不是使周围的每个人都为问题所困扰。我想对本章采取不同的角度:
在过去的几年中,我一遍又一遍地从我的恋爱关系中学到了这一课,这是我与前男友,与朋友,家人以及同事之间的关系。
我所说的“接受”是指:发生一种您不喜欢并且不想再次发生的情况。有时我们只是让它滑下来,希望它不再发生或接受。尽管在短期内处理此类问题比较容易,但由于以下几个原因,这种冲突可能会成问题:
1.您必须忍受这种情况的压力,这可能会导致您想与其他人谈谈(例如Clark说,让其他人负担您的问题)。
2.通过不面对它,您发送一条消息,表示行为或情况或发生的任何事情都可以,这使人们认为您就此而言没有任何界限,这似乎可以做...甚至可能再做一次。
I'm so lucky to have this great friend, one of my best, who taught me how to address conflict. Since meeting her, living with her, 和 teaching with her, I'm so much 更多 direct with the things that bother me. And, I also prefer to address 冲突in person, 因为 via email, messages get confused 和 it may not be interpreted the way in which you mean.
所以,我同意罗恩·克拉克(Ron Clark)的观点-如果您遇到某人的问题,请去与他们交谈。他建议从感觉如何开始,并从头开始, “我很尊敬您,我想直接找您,而不是向其他任何人提及” (第145页)。
And you know what the best part of this is? That once you've had the conversation, it's done. You feel relief (no matter how hard it was to initiate the conversation), there's no holding grudges, 和 no one has to wonder whether or not you're upset, 因为 when you're a person who is direct with conflict, you let others know when there is an issue.
我是那种自然地会心存感激和欣赏的人。告诉我的朋友和家人,我对他们的感恩之情一直很重要,而这也已经转变为工作。
正如克拉克(Clark)在“动您的公共汽车”中提到的那样,人们有很多欣赏方式。你读过加里·查普曼的书吗 五种爱的语言?本章完全让我想起了–罗恩·克拉克(Ron Clark)怎么说,有些员工希望获得便条或仅仅是对他们工作的称赞而感到赞赏,而另一些员工可能会因某种礼物而感到最赞赏。还有其他三种恋爱语言,已被改编成一本名为 工作场所的5种欣赏语言, but this is important information to have 因为 we all feel most appreciated differently.
What I know for sure is this: While the salary a staff 在 a particular school district makes is important, people (myself included) will continue to work in a place that may not pay the highest wages if they feel appreciated by their colleagues 和 their supervisors. People like to come to work 和 feel good, 和 if that means $5K less than a district nearby, they will continue to come, 因为 they know they are an important 和 valued member of the 组织.
好吧,今天就这些了。星期一,一定要在她的博客上查看我朋友安妮的帖子, 表达你的想法。她将总结最后两章,“享受旅程”和结论。
并且一定会在下个月回来,因为#D100BloggerPD小组将分享有关我们的新书:黑客教育:每个学校的10个快速修复方法!
